Relapse & Getting Back on Track

What is relapse?   According to DSM-5, relapse is a return in symptoms.    Most people focus on the actions such as return of restriction, binging, etc.   In my experience, I have found that relapse is more about mindset and intention than actual behavior.    For example, if I missed one snack because my work meeting went long, that would not mean I relapsed.   However, if I ate all of my meals and snacks, but skimped a little on portion to reduce weight, that would be considered a relapse.   Most important thing to keep in mind, relapse is NOT failure.   It is part of the recovery process.    In my opinion, being dishonest with yourself or others about your relapse leads to shame and isolation, which are breeding grounds for eating disorders.    

I had relapsed twice and felt a great deal of shame about my behavior.     I isolated because I did not want to disappoint those that loved and cared about me.    I also did not want to have to explain my behavior, because, quite honestly, I could not explain it to myself.

As I reflect back, I learned two things:

·         I learned what my triggers were (people pleasing, valuing myself for my achievements, boundary setting, etc) that I needed to work on.

·         When I returned to treatment, I did not start from scratch.   My first time in recovery was not a waste of time.   It was invaluable and there I developed a strong foundation to return to my authentic self.    I had to develop effective coping mechanisms for the first time in my life. 

The eating disorder thrives in shame, so after my first relapse I isolated.    If I had to do it all over again, I would have reached out.     I have an amazing support group, but your support team is only good if you use them.    They are there for support! 

The eating disorder also thrives in deceit.   I had found that I was lying by always having a smile on my face (my dietitian described as toxic positivity).   I wasn’t fooling anyone, but myself.   

How do you break the shame cycle?    My favorite tools were opposite action and talking to myself as a friend.   Have realistic expectations of yourself and remind yourself that you are human!    I also stress the importance of compassion.   If you had a friend with a broken arm who could not do a task, would you berate them and say get over it?   Of course not, I recommend you give yourself that same grace.   You can do it!    I know, because I did;  and at one time I thought that I would be living eternally with a constant calorie counter, nutrition label reader and exercise counter in my head.   Now I look back and discover that I wasted so much time on that,  instead of actually stopping and becoming a friend of my body, and not its own worst enemy.    

1. Recovery is a ride.    Some tools to help you get back on track:

• Educate your loved ones on eating disorder recovery

• Look for warning signs

1. Avoiding situations around food

2. Skipping meals

3. Need for control

4. Perfectionism

5. Increase in exercise

6. Looking at health related apps and social media

7. Body checking

8. Comparisons

1. Be kind to yourself – recovery is NOT linear

2. Revisit your social media exposure and block any media that causes distress

3. Do one thing today that your future self will thank you for

4. 
   

1. pport from support groups from people who “just get it”

2. Ask for help!   You deserve it.   Identify the warning signs and then go “back to basics” to get back on track.   That means, following meal plan, checking in regularly, mindful movement, etc.